There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hippo gnu deer
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
