guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
