one two three fourrrrnication!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
