carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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