Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
3 2 1 whiskey
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize