I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
