He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize