You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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