I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
