Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
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