If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
