i just wanna soil my oats bro
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
