come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
