If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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