Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
