either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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