So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
