So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
whose parrot is this?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
