If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
