Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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