They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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