Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
