I must be too annoying 4 u.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
