i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
