I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
