Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
