You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
