lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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