I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
