we made out on top of his cat.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
