I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
