Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Too much gin, very little bucket
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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