I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
