you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
