i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
