they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
