Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
