Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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