Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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