Tell her she can't have a vagina
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
