god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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