Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
