pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think I just sharted jello shots
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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