Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
