Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
