i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
