My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
