Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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