suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
