Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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