No stitches, just platelets and will power
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
