I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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