The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
