Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
