Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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