beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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