On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
