I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
